


Valentmas Day

by AvaKelly, Tanouska



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers Tower, Domestic Avengers, F/F, M/M, Multi, caring for the avengers is like herding cats, even though nobody knows it, jarvis is a mother hen, jarvis is worried, outside insight into relationships, pepper is in charge, well relationships are implied or named
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-08
Updated: 2017-02-08
Packaged: 2018-09-22 21:41:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9626762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AvaKelly/pseuds/AvaKelly, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tanouska/pseuds/Tanouska
Summary: Pepper returns to the Tower to find it (suspiciously) quiet witha treestanding in the middle of the living room. Well, perhaps not so suspiciously, but security footage is missing. She and JARVIS try to untangle the mystery.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone o/  
> This bit started out in December when Tanouska made the awesome drawing and now, two months later, as we have snow in the middle of February, the muses have finally descended upon us and graced us with the story behind it.  
> For those reading in full screen, there's an image embedded in the text. [Here](http://tanouska.tumblr.com/post/154041642154/avengers-christmas-tree) is the external link if you can't see it.  
> Enjoy.

The day seems to be one of those when the upper floor of the Tower is silent, when there's lethargy enveloping the space. One of those days when they're all back from missions, when they're nursing their exhaustion, wrapping their ribs, and tending to their bruised knuckles. Outside, the world is already covered in a thick layer of white snow, more falling down in a beautiful dance of large, fluffy flakes. Pepper smiles at it as she sips her tea. Quiet afternoons like this are always her favorite. She landed early, had to wrap up a meeting, but then cleared her schedule when JARVIS' headcount revealed all the Avengers were back.

It's a good thing she did, too, because now there's a mystery waiting to be solved. Pepper raises an eyebrow at the christmas tree in the middle of the living room.

It's not too tall, but thick and probably too expensive.

"JARVIS," she calls, "care to explain the tree?"

"Sir has deleted all records of it and how it came to be in my living room. I've been running simulations for the past hour."

Pepper hums. "What timeframe is missing?"

"10AM to 2PM."

She sets down the mug then slowly approaches the tree. "Should we start at the top or at the bottom?"

"I have already run simulations starting with each item, but due to lack of information, I cannot reach a conclusion."

JARVIS sounds a little cranky, so Pepper smiles at one of JARVIS' hidden cameras.

"We'll figure it out. How about we start with the moment they all returned? Who was back first?"

"Sir and agent Romanov returned at 9:06AM," JARVIS supplies. "They were arguing as they walked from the quinjet to the doors on the terrace."

"Playback," Pepper says.

 _"This is very logical,"_ Tony's voice fills the room.

 _"Tony,"_ Natasha replies, warning, like she's been at it for hours. Pepper shrugs. Figures, if something got stuck in Tony's head.

 _"But they were both gone,"_ Tony insists.

A sigh follows and Natasha says _"Fine. But if it bites you in the ass, just know I told you so."_

 _"The only one allowed to bite my ass is Bruce,"_ Tony returns and the ping signaling the end of the recording follows.

Pepper rolls her eyes. "That's it?"

"They parted ways after that and didn't interact until after the blackout."

"What did they do?"

"Sir went to the lab, repaired the suit, and at 9:59AM declared it's time to get the show on the road. Agent Romanov removed her gear, showered, then went to the armory and cleaned her knives until Mr. Barnes joined her at 9:52AM."

"When did Bucky return?"

"Mr. Barnes returned with Lt. Wilson at 9:12AM by car. They parked in the basement and rode up with the elevator. There is video and audio."

"Playback," Pepper says.

One of JARVIS' holographic screens pops up from the small projector mounted on coffee table, revealing Bucky and Sam leaning against opposite walls inside the cabin. Sam's arms are crossed and they're both glaring at each other.

 _"There's no way you can do that,"_ Sam says on the feed.

 _"Just watch me,"_ Bucky returns. _"Fury won't even know what hit him."_

_"Man, that eyepatch is sacred."_

On screen, Bucky rubs his chin and Pepper fills with apprehension. _"How about a bet?"_ Yep, there it is. Pepper's sigh is deeper than she wanted it. Sam's stance turns challenging and Bucky continues with _"If I get Fury's eyepatch, you have to steal Coulson's tie. The one he's wearing."_ As he speaks, Bucky advances and only stops when he's really close to Sam, whose glare doubles.

 _"Asshole,"_ Sam grits, _"you know I can't back down from that."_

 _"I know,"_ Bucky says, _"but if you do it, I'll do the thing later."_

Sam's entire posture changes as he straightens with surprise. _"You'll dance for me?"_

Bucky hums before leaning closer to place a small peck on Sam's lips and Pepper melts at the sight.

"They're so cute together," she comments. "I mean look at them—ho-oh! Turn it off!"

The feed cuts off just as Bucky's hand travels down Sam's pants and Pepper rubs at her eyes. Since that time she found Tony and Bruce in the lab, she has managed to walk in on many scenes, most a lot more naked than this. With Bucky and Sam, all that's left for her to see is Natasha going at it. No, wait, nevermind.

Pepper rounds the tree, her heels clicking softly in the silence against the floor and suddenly she's aware of how tired she is. She removes her shoes, then walks over the to comfy armchair in the corner, the one that Bucky likes.

"Ok," she says. "So it's safe to assume Tony bought the tree."

"There are no records of purchase in Sir's accounts," JARVIS counters.

"Did you check mine?"

There's a pause as JARVIS most likely runs through her finances.

"I found it," JARVIS announces while displaying the bill on the holo-screen.

"Ok," Pepper says again. "Bucky and Sam must've brought Fury's eyepatch and Phil's tie and put them in the tree."

"It's a logical assumption," JARVIS agrees. "I have no record of Director Fury or Agent Coulson arriving, so they must have left the Tower during the blackout period."

Pepper runs her eyes up and down the branches. "Nat's knives got there somehow, too. Where did Bucky and Sam go after the elevator?"

"They went to Mr. Barnes' room and didn't emerge until 9:50AM. Mr. Barnes went to the armory and Lt. Wilson joined Cpt. Rogers and Agent Barton in the kitchen."

"Tell me about Steve and Clint," Pepper says.

"They returned at 9:16AM via quinjet. They were both covered in a slimy substance and used the gym facilities to clean up. Neither left their weapon in the armory, but instead chose to bring the bow and shield to the living room. They cleaned those here. Fortunately, they left no residue on my floor. There is audio and video, would you like a playback?"

"No, that's fine," Pepper says. "What time did they finish?"

"At 9:48AM Cpt. Rogers and Agent Barton moved to the kitchen and started cooking."

Pepper gasps.

"There was no incident or fire this time," JARVIS says. "Sir wired me into the appliances and I could control the stove and the oven. Besides, I had ordered the pre-prepared steak from the cafeteria downstairs, as per your instructions."

With yet another sigh, Pepper relaxes against the cushions. "Did they like it?"

"All evidence suggests that they did. There are no leftovers."

"Good," Pepper says. "We'll make a list and fill the fridge."

"Added to current tasks."

Pepper nods, then runs a hand over her face. The tree is standing there, majestic and a little crooked, under the weight of Mjolnir on one of the lower branches. Steve's shield sits underneath while one of Clint's arrows pierces the top. Scattered about are an Iron Man suit mask, Bruce's super elastic purple pants, and other weapons between Phil's tie and Fury's leather patch. With effort, Pepper stands, picks up her shoes, and shuffles closer. There's one of Bucky's guns, Nat's knives, a grenade. Higher up there's even a handgun with initials SC on the handle.

"Is Sharon in the tower?"

"Yes," JARVIS replies. "Agent Carter is currently in Agent Romanov's room, but I have no record of her arrival."

Pepper hums her acknowledgement. "What about Thor?"

"No record, either."

"All right," Pepper says. "That leaves us no choice, JARVIS. We must extract the information another way."

She picks up the mock grenade, turns it until she can run her fingers on the inscription there. _'Pepper > weapons' _ Pepper can't help the smile, but she doesn't want to stop it. She's a sap, always will be. She places the grenade back on the branch, then sets one of her shoes underneath the tree.

"Where is she?" Pepper asks.

"In your suite, Ms. Potts," JARVIS replies. "Taking a nap."

"Thank you."

Pepper heads to her bedroom, enters quietly. She undresses as silently and quickly as possible, then slides under the covers, plastering herself to the warm body there.

"Hey, babe," Maria says as she blinks awake, voice gravelly.

"Hey," Pepper returns.

The seconds tick slowly as awareness comes to Maria more and more and her hands start roaming up and down Pepper's frame. This feels good, relaxing after eight days worth of traveling around the world.

"I missed you," she says.

It earns her a kiss, then another, and it's perfectly sleepy, wonderfully warm.

"Me, too," Maria whispers.

"So, care to tell me why there's a christmas tree in the living room?"

"It's for valentine's day," Maria says as if that explains everything.

"But valentine's is banned from the Tower."

"Yes, and Tony declared it second christmas since it's snowing and since both Steve and Clint were on a mission during first christmas and never got to see the tree before it burned down."

Pepper snorts. "I feel like I shouldn't, but I have to ask. What happened today?"

Maria chuckles and kisses her cheek. "It wasn't that bad. Tony got us the tree, then Clint and Steve fought over what goes on top, so Clint shot an arrow at it. Steve moped for exactly four minutes and twenty eight seconds before he and Nat challenged each other to throw stuff at it without bringing it down. Then Thor returned and joined the madness. Thankfully, nothing was broken and I am now convinced the hammer is sentient because it kept knocking the shield to slow it down."

Pepper nods. "Pants and mask?"

"Nat said something about ass biting and Bruce took offense for some reason. Tony placated him with putting his face up there next to Bruce's pants and that's an euphemism I don't wanna think about."

"Oh, I saw that one live," Pepper comments with a shudder.

"Poor you," Maria says and Pepper sticks her tongue out.

"The rest?"

"Well, Bucky and Sam came out of nowhere at some point with Coulson's tie and Fury's eyepatch, with Sharon on their tails. There was a brief standoff, guns were pointed, but Nat convinced them to hang the weapons up."

"And the grenade?"

"The tree had to have something from us, too, didn't it?" Maria says before snuggling closer.

"Sneaky of you," Pepper returns with a kiss to Maria's temple.

"That's why you love me," Maria mumbles, sleepiness back and Pepper closer her eyes too.

"That I do, sweetheart," she whispers.

Maria relaxes in her arms, breaths steadying, and Pepper feels herself sliding into slumber as well.

"JARVIS," she whispers. "Mark today as Valentmas and remind me to organize it again next year."

~

JARVIS pings softly, mindful of waking them up, then accesses its sensors to check on the others. Sir and Dr. Banner are tinkering with a new experiment in the lab. Mr. Barnes and Lt. Wilson are in Sir's bedroom with privacy mode activated. JARVIS makes a note to call for room maintenance later. Agents Romanov and Carter have privacy mode on as well. Then, in the movie room, Cpt. Rogers, Agent Barton, and Thor are watching Anastasia. JARVIS queues up The Princess and the Frog, then turns off its sensors in the room. Those three always forget to activate privacy mode. Now all is well in the tower. Everyone is home, where JARVIS can protect them.

Valentmas status: success.

Return: satisfactory.

Repeat: yes.

Log end.

~


End file.
